


That One Time, At Alstor

by yallneedtrashjesus



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 03:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11096385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yallneedtrashjesus/pseuds/yallneedtrashjesus
Summary: While camping at Alstor, Noct and Prompto plan a semi-elaborate prank on Ignis involving a catoblepas.Heartfelt Chocobros shenanigans.“You’re all useless,” said Ignis. “Where’s the damn booze already?”





	That One Time, At Alstor

**That One Time, At Alstor**

Noct took a great bite of the skewer, not bothering to wipe the sauce that dribbled down the side of his mouth to his chin.

He looked to Ignis. “This is really good!” he mumbled through a mouthful.

“If I weren’t so appalled at your lack of grace, I’d be flattered,” Ignis replied. All the same, his eyes smiled.

Prompto, following Noct’s lead, also chewed happily. “He’s right, Iggy—this IS really good.”

“Yeah! You really outdid yourself, Ignis,” Gladio mumbled.

The three made exaggerated chewing noises, all with their mouths open, and Ignis visibly shuddered.

An exasperated groan escaped him. They all knew the one and burst out laughing. Noct and Prompto high-fived, having successfully set a joke into motion without words.

After a while, even Ignis was smiling. He couldn’t help it—the laughter of his friends was contagious. He also knew that all kidding aside, they meant the compliments.

He watched the dancing flames of the campfire, sipping contentedly at his coffee.

Only after the three had nearly finished their meals did Ignis finally take a bite. “This _is_ excellent. Noct, if you can catch a fish like this every day, I can prepare it equally well, if not better.”

Noct grinned. “Are you giving me permission to fish every day?”

The amusement drained from Prompto’s face. He stared at Ignis, his eyes wide and mouth turned downward. He wished he could summon Ignis’ daggers and chuck them at him.

“Works for me. Gives us a chance to kick back,” said Gladio, patting his bare, distended stomach. He reached for the beer beneath his chair.

“Wonder if there are any really big fish out here,” Noct mused aloud.

Prompto put his hands behind his head and rested the ankle of his right leg on his left knee. “God, I hope so. Even I’d go fishing if it meant seeing you get pulled into the water.”

“Pffft, please. If I find a fish that big, you’ll all be eating the best skewers of your lives.”

“Noct, Six know your scrawny ass ain’t pulling any monster from the water, so I’ll help you land it,” said Gladio.

“Gee, thanks.”

“No problem.” Gladio took a swig from his beer.

“Man, why didn’t we get one of those portable beer pong tables to bring with us?”

Gladio and Ignis turned to Noct at the same time, their faces deadpan.

“I’m sorry, what?” Ignis asked.

Gladio smirked. “Miss your sorority already?" 

Ignis snickered.

“When was the last time we all got trashed together?” Noctis asked.

“Months,” Gladio conceded. “If that’s all you’re after, I’ve got booze in the trunk.”

Ignis inhaled sharply and turned to Gladio. “ _What_?”

Noct smiled inwardly. This was going even better than he’d hoped. He’d known about the secret booze stash, of course, but hadn’t encountered a suitable time to bring it up. 

Now the trick would be to get Ignis to partake. Noct seemed to be the only one to be able to persuade Ignis into ever doing something he felt— or knew—he shouldn’t. Sometimes appealing to Ignis’ competitiveness was all it took. But he thought he had the perfect idea in mind.

“Why not?” Noct asked Ignis. “Don’t we deserve a break? Back in Insomnia, it was always curfews and protocols. Appearances. Standards. Here we are on the open road, and we haven’t even properly celebrated.”

“That’s because there’s little to celebrate,” Ignis retorted. “In case you’ve forgotten, the Crown City has fallen, and everyone thinks you’re dead. Which means we must stay alert.”

“But _we’re_ alive, Ignis. And no matter how much you or Gladio try your best to keep us that way, the truth is that we could all die tomorrow, or the next day. Or a week from now.”

Ignis was quiet. Noct continued.

“After everything, we’re still together. We’re on the biggest adventure of our lives— one that’s probably going to get a lot more dangerous soon.”

“I’ll drink to that,” said Gladio.

“Besides…you’re fun when you’re drunk.” Noct smiled.

“Yeah, you get sassy,” said Prompto.

Ignis crossed his arms. “I do not.”

“No? You decked Gladio pretty good last time because he touched your new shirt,” Noct reminded. “You said ‘Keep your French fry fingers off of me, señorita.’ Probably because he was drinking tequila, or…you were?”

Ignis’ mouth fell open ever so slightly. He looked about to say something, but promptly shut his mouth again.

“I wasn’t even mad, Iggy,” Gladio chuckled. “These two laughed so hard they fell off their barstools, and I had to drag all _three_ of you out of there. And then you tried to pick a fight with a street vendor because he wasn’t serving your latest recipe.”

“This is all good reason for me _not_ to drink, you realize….”

“We’re safe out here! There’s no one around, no property to destroy. And I can watch you three lightweights, like always.”

“C’mon, Iggy!” Prompto urged, leaning in towards the fire. “For all you know, it’s the last chance we’ll ever get! And I want to see you try to punch Gladio again.”

“I assure you I will do no such thing. But…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let loose this once. Six know we deserve it.”

“YES!” Prompto jumped from his chair and turned towards Noct. “Lets go, Noct!”

They had gotten halfway across the campsite rock before Ignis cleared his throat.

“Forgetting anything?”

Noct turned just in time to catch the keys to the Regalia, which were sailing towards his head.

“Remind me why you have the keys to my car?”

“Remind me of the last time you drove your car?”

“See? Sassy,” Noctis replied.

They made the short hike back to the Regalia, which was parked on the road above. Unsurprisingly, there were no other cars on the road. The lights of Coernix Station glimmered faintly in the distance. Noct thought he could see the lights of the chocobo outpost through the trees, as well. And off to the right, beyond the arches, tendrils of light swirled around the Disc of Cauthess.

Noct popped the trunk and lifted the sheet of metal separating the spare tire compartment. There, wedged all around the spare, were bottles. Ignis wouldn’t have thought to look there, and had had no reason to.

“Hmmm…what should we take?” Noct asked. They definitely didn’t need all of it; probably two bottles would do. After all, they had plans for tomorrow morning. Mostly they wanted _Ignis_ drunk.

Noct and Gladio favored whiskey, Prompto rum, and Ignis…well, he never shied from tequila, but he typically drank high shelf gin.

“Grab the whiskey and tequila,” Prompto suggested, eyeing the bottles Noct had pulled from their hiding places.

“You sure? There’s rum here, too. Seems Gladio remembered.”

“I’m not that picky, dude.” 

The bottles in hand, Noct closed the trunk, and they made their way back towards camp.

Noct seized the opportunity to discuss their plan one more time. They’d been plotting all day, and now it was about to start.

“Remember: We act drunker than we are. One of us needs to get the Ebony out of the tent, and we need to take it down to the slough. Maybe after Ignis calls it a night?”

“Yeah,” said Prompto. “I’ve already got the mushrooms ready. Managed to nab his sewing kit earlier, too. Just need to get his jacket after we all go to bed. I’ve got an idea for that—just take my blanket tonight. I won’t have to _pretend_ to be freezing.”

“Keeping Ignis from getting too fucked up shouldn’t be hard. But we have to make sure he gets just fucked up enough so he’s a bit slow in the morning…and really needs his coffee.”

“I am _so_ hyped for this!”

“So am I.”

By the time they made it back to camp, night had fallen. Ignis and Gladio had thrown more wood on the fire, and someone had found some empty red cups.

“Nooo…you know I was kidding about the beer pong, right?”

“No you weren’t.” Gladio smirked. “But that’s not what the cups are for.”

“Then what?”

Gladio rolled his eyes. “To drink from? You know, like normal people? So we don’t have to keep sharing the same bottle?”

“Ohhhh, is someone afraid of cooties? Don’t want to say ‘no homo’ every time you take a swig?” Prompto teased.

Gladio made like he was going to punch Prompto, and Prompto yelped and hid behind Noct.

“You know that doesn’t bother me.”

“You’re all useless,” said Ignis. “Where’s the damn booze already?”

“Maybe everyone _but_ Ignis should drink,” said Gladio.

Prompto took a bottle from Noct’s hand and headed for the cups. “No, no…Ignis _needs_ a drink. I think he’s needed a drink since birth.”

“Hear, hear,” Ignis chimed. He was enjoying being the center of attention.

"Whiskey or tequila, Ignis?” Prompto asked.

“Tequila, of course.”

“Gladio?”

“Same.”

“Looks like we’re starting with tequila, Prom.”

“Hoo, boy. Here we go.”

When they each had a cup full of tequila in hand, Gladio raised his for a toast. “To the fallen. To those who gave their lives defending the kingdom, and us. To everyone still fighting.”

They each raised their cup, and then they drank. They didn’t need to discuss it; each took the equivalent of a shot, maybe a little more. The thoughts of the fallen weighed heavy.

“Okay, Ignis, we blasted you earlier a bit. Now it’s your turn. Do you have any funny stories about Noct? The more recent, the better.”

“Hey….”

Ignis slowly turned his head to look at Noct. “Recent? Funny? Definitely.”

Noct sighed and took another sip of tequila.

“Last week, I noticed that his shirt had a hole in it. Of course I offered to mend it, but he said he’d do it himself. I didn’t remind him, but every day after, I noticed that the hole was expanding. Yesterday I caught him with a sewing needle, trying to repair his shirt. But do you know how he was trying to repair it?”

At this Noct smiled and began to laugh.

“How?”

“He was sewing a leaf over the hole, like a patch.”

Prompto and Gladio burst out laughing.

“It gets better!” Ignis said loudly. “When that didn’t work, he cut a piece from the bottom of Prompto’s blanket and sewed that on.”

Prompto sputtered into his cup. “Wait, what?” He stared at Noct, who hid his smile in his cup.

“But wait, there’s more. I knew that Prompto would likely complain if he discovered this, so I switched his and Gladio’s blankets.”

Now Prompto laughed, and Gladio just shook his head. “Honestly, if it’s that big a deal to Prompto, you did the right thing, Ignis.” He looked to Noct. “But Noct, seriously? A leaf? You know they disintegrate when they dry out, right?”

“Yeah, but I thought it would keep Ignis off my back for awhile.”

Gladio tried to think of a sarcastic response, but for once he was at a loss.

“Okay, okay…how about something from when you guys were younger?” Prompto asked. After all, he hadn’t known Noct well then.

“Oh, I have plenty,” said Ignis happily.

“Great,” Noct mumbled.

“Noct, does the name Mariela ring a bell?” Ignis asked.

Noct squinted. “Mariela…?”

“Tall, brunette, one of the Kingsglaive, if I recall?”

Noct’s eyes widened in realization. “No—Ignis, no.”

“Oh, I’m afraid so.” Ignis looked to Gladio and Prompto. “When Noct was thirteen, a particularly attractive woman named Mariela appeared in the Citadel. She must have been about twenty, maybe a year or two older.

“I believe someone had put her up to it as a joke. But Noct had no idea. She started to appear whenever Noct was alone anywhere outside his chambers. She was subtle at first, but then she grew bolder in revealing her…interest.”

Noct wished he had a hood to pull over his head.

“I witnessed a few of these advances, as well as Noct’s amusing attempts at thwarting her. My favorite was when she asked him to lunch with a hand on his knee. Noct was clearly terrified. He told her that he and I had plans already.”

Prompto looked to Noct, a grin spreading across his face.

“Thanks to that, we both regularly received winks and advances from the male variety in the Citadel for at least a month afterward.” He pushed his glasses up and looked at Gladio. “Even from you.”

Noct snapped his head to Gladio. “You didn’t.”

Gladio laughed. “I had no idea that’s how the rumor started. I didn’t believe it, but you can’t blame me for wondering.”

“You never told me any of this!” said Prompto, smacking his arm.

“We were just starting to hang out. You really think I was gonna tell you that everyone thought Ignis and I were a thing? I mean, I would have told you if it was true.”

Prompto threw up his hands. “And that makes sense how?”

Noct rested his cup on his knee. “It just does.” He looked across to Ignis. “Okay, you must have a funny story about Gladio.”

“Actually, no. We rarely saw one another. And when our paths did cross, usually in or around the gym, usually we discussed politics…or you.”

Noct groaned.

“Although…there was one day where I beat him pretty badly in a sparring match, in front of his father.”

Noct’s mouth fell open. He turned to his left to confirm this with Gladio.

Gladio rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah…that did happen.” He took a long sip from his cup.

Ignis smirked. “It was around the time of your graduation, Noct. Apparently word had spread that I was a decent fighter, so Clarus asked to see me in action. Of course, he thought it fitting that I spar with his son. After all, we were close in age and both close to you.”

“And this was a surprise, I take it?” Prompto asked.

Ignis nodded. “All each of us knew was that we were to participate in a sparring match as part of an ‘inspection.’ And you certainly don’t refuse the King’s Shield.”

“What happened?” Noct asked. He hadn’t known about this. All he remembered from that time just before his graduation was his father telling him that he’d be in good hands. Noct had thought his father was referring to all of the Crownsguard, the Kingsglaive, and everyone else that protected him and the Kingdom.

“He kicked my ass,” Gladio admitted. “Clarus told me to choose a weapon for us each to use—the same weapon. I could have made Iggy use a greatsword, but that didn’t seem fair. So I chose spears, since Iggy favored them. I wanted a challenge.”

He chuckled. “I underestimated how competitive Iggy was. Should’ve realized that he’d want to impress my father just as bad as I did.”

“Chhh, I could’ve told you that,” said Noct. Ignis had always prided himself on his duties and the abilities that allowed him to do them well. His abilities weren’t always noticed or praised, but his unwavering loyalty and unfaltering efficiency were— so of _course_ Ignis would seize an opportunity to show off his fighting abilities.

Ignis smiled to himself. In truth, the day he’d bested the future Shield was one of his fondest memories of their collective past in the Citadel. He’d enjoyed the pats on the back he’d received from other members of the Guard, and the increased recognition. For a moment he’d been seen as more than Noct’s errand boy.

Gladio set his cup on the ground. “Alright, I think it’s time for another competition.”

“Wanting a rematch, are we?” Ignis inquired.

“In a sense.”

Noct and Prompto grew worried. Their plans had been going smoothly up till now. But given Iggy’s competitiveness and his and Gladio’s past episode, that could all fly out the window shortly.

They needed a competition that Ignis would do poorly at.

“I’ve got an idea.” They all turned to Noct. “Prompto and I will ask both of you questions. Whenever you don’t know the answer, you have to drink.”

Ignis raised a brow. “What types of questions?”

“All kinds. Whatever we can think of.”

Normally Ignis would refuse, for Prompto and Noct’s questions would likely involve video games, comics, TV, or other shared interests, but tonight he didn’t care if he lost.

“Fine.”

Noct and Prompto smiled at each other. This was going to be too easy.

About an hour later, Ignis was clearly drunk. Even Gladio found himself on that fine line between heavily buzzed and drunk.

Noct and Prompto, as they’d planned, were mostly sober. Mostly.

Ignis bent down near the fire, nearly falling backwards as he did so, and picked up one of the metal skewers from dinner. He waved it like a rapier. “En garde!”

Prompto leapt into the fray, grabbing another skewer from the ground to meet the challenge.

“You’ll poke each other’s eyes out,” Noct warned, though he just laughed from his chair. He worried Ignis would fall into the fire, but it was mostly dead now, anyways.

They clashed, the thin weapons making tinny clangs when they crossed. Both Prompt and Ignis grinned wildly, and Gladio gave a hearty laugh.

Then Ignis twirled his skewer and poked at Prompto’s chest.

“Ow! Hey!” Prompto cried.

But Ignis pressed, trying to poke him again. Prompto ran, and Ignis chased him in a circle around the rock top, waving the skewer at him.

Fearful that Ignis might fall and impale himself, Gladio stepped between them and quickly snatched the skewer from Ignis.

“Unhand that immediately!” Ignis demanded, swaying.

“I think you should sit down before you hurt someone, Iggy.”

“Are you going to make me?”

Gladio smiled. “Ohhoho, is it sassypants time already?”

“I don’t want anything to do with your pants,” Ignis replied indignantly. “That was just—“ he hiccupped—“a rumor.”

Gladio looked to Noct, his expression bemused. He hoped at least one of them remembered this in the morning, because he’d definitely want to bring it up to Iggy.

Noct moved Ignis’ chair near his. “Here, Ignis, come sit by me.”

Slowly Ignis made his way towards the empty chair. But then he was standing in front of Noct.

“What’s up, Iggy?”

“Move over.”

“What?”

“You’re in my chair.”

“No, your chair is—”

Ignis turned sideways as if to go to his chair—and then sat in Noct’s lap.

“Ahhh! Get off, Ignis!”

But his friend was heavier than he’d suspected. And he was crushing his junk.

Prompto was beside himself. He hadn’t realized he needed to pee, and now fought the urge despite tears streaming down his face. He thought of grabbing his camera, but he couldn’t move. Gladio laughed so hard he nearly tipped his chair over backwards.

Ignis must have realized he was hurting Noct, and he moved so that his legs dangled over the side of his chair. He threw an arm around Noct’s shoulder.

He looked at Noct, and Noct slowly met his gaze, feeling suddenly fearful.

“I’m tired,” said Ignis. His eyes closed. He pressed his head to Noct’s.

“Maybe we should get you into the tent, then.” Noct squirmed.

“You make a comfortable throne.”

Prompto laughed so hard that he felt pee dribble down his leg.

“I—what?” Noct smiled despite himself.

But Ignis just mumbled, resting his head against Noct’s.

“Go get it, Prompto!” he whispered. 

“Get what?”Noct raised his eyebrows.

Noct raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, the camera!”

Noct would have groaned, but he didn’t want to disturb Ignis. Prompto was supposed to grab Ignis’ last can of Ebony. He prayed that his friend remembered, and was only playing dumb.

But Prompto hastily returned with the camera—just the camera. He stepped in front of Noct. “Smile!”

Noct made a thoroughly miserable face. He’d have to delete these later, obviously.

Prompto snapped a few pictures and then ran back into the tent. Noct looked to Gladio.

“Please get him off me.”

Gladio smirked. “Are you sure those rumors weren’t true?”“GLADIO!”

“GLADIO!”

“Alright, alright. But don’t think I’m ever letting either one of you live this down.”

With Noct’s help, Gladio picked Ignis up. “No more tequila, buddy.” He carried him to the tent and laid him down on his usual side, throwing a blanket over him and removing his glasses.

Noct grabbed Ignis’ jacket from where it hung over his chair and laid it next to Ignis.

He then met Prompto near the dying campfire.

Gladio slapped Noct’s left shoulder. “Alright, kids. I’m taking a piss, then I’m hitting the sack, too.”

“Alright. We’re gonna stay out here for a bit,” said Noct.

Gladio went off to do his business, and Prompto sat at Noct’s left.

“Oh my gods, dude.” He laughed.

“I know. Look, would you mind deleting those pictures?”

“Not a chance. Besides, I can’t wait to see Iggy’s face.”

Noct smiled. “Did you get the Ebony?”

Prompto reached into his pocket. When he pulled out the can of Ebony, he imitated a treasure noise from one of his favorite games.

“As soon as Gladio gets back, let’s run down there.”

“I’ll do it. Might be weird for both of us to go.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want Gladio catching on. He might spoil it for Ignis without meaning to. Besides, I have to take a piss, too.” Prompto smirked. “Go get in the tent and cuddle up with Iggy again.”

Noct hit him hard—or tried to, but Prompto had already leapt from his chair and was running towards the slough.

***

Much later, sometime before dawn, Prompto smiled at Noct. Though they could barely make out one another’s faces in the dark, each knew it was time.

Prompto rolled over to his other side so that he faced Ignis. He threw an arm over Ignis, pretending to have done so innocently in his sleep. 

When Ignis showed no signs of stirring, he leaned over him and grabbed his jacket, which was laid beside him.

Prompto waited a while longer before leaving the tent to relieve himself.

He had to be quick, or else the cold could wake Gladio or even Ignis.

He hurried down the side of the camping rock and went around to the back so that he was below the tent, standing beside the glowing glyphs. He’d hidden them here, somewhere…. He stooped and looked around the edge of the rock, clawing in the grass and dirt.

Yes! The mushrooms were there, safe, wrapped in little pieces of cloth that Noct had torn from one of his t-shirts. He couldn’t wait to witness Ignis’ reaction.

The watery light was enough to see by, so he fished the sewing kit from his left pants pocket and set to work on Ignis’ jacket. The mushrooms were small but round, so he split them up into two small packets using the tatters of Noct’s shirt. He sewed one into the inside of the left and right pockets of Ignis’ jacket, hoping that Ignis would at least appreciate his attempt at not ruining his favorite blazer. He hoped, too, that the mushrooms would be pungent enough, but not to the point that Ignis would notice.

He threw on the jacket and rushed back to the tent.

Once inside, he settled back into the space between Noct and Ignis, and reached over Ignis to place his jacket beside him so that he wouldn’t crush the mushrooms while sleeping. Prompto grabbed his blanket back from Noct, and soon the two were asleep once more.

***

Prompto awoke to the sound of rustling— and warmth. Judging by the amount of sunlight hitting the tent, it was late morning, probably nine or ten.

“I swear I had another,” Ignis muttered.

“Mmm?” Prompto inquired sleepily, lazily opening an eye to see what Ignis was on about. But then he remembered, and he pulled his blanket over his head. Ignis was wearing his jacket.

“Ebony. Last night, I was sure I had one more.” He turned on Prompto. “Did one of you drink it?”

“What?”

Ignis grabbed the top of Prompto’s blanket and pulled, leaving Prompto nothing to hide beneath.

“Well?” Ignis asked.

Prompto shielded his eyes against the light. “Noct and I took it down to the slough last night. We were going to split it, but we got tired. Must’ve left it down there.”

“Where exactly did you leave it?” Ignis was irritated. He was usually like this without his coffee, but given the hangover he was likely nursing, he was worse than usual. 

Gladio was stirring now, as was Sleeping Beauty.

“Past the big rock. Right at the edge of the water.” Prompto yawned and rolled over on his side to face Noct.

“I _should_ make _you_ go and fetch it,” said Ignis, dangling the blanket before Prompto.

“But I just woke up,” Prompto whined. “And we didn’t mean to leave it down there.”

“No, you meant to _drink_ it.”

Ignis made a sound of annoyance and tossed the blanket atop him. Prompto waited for Ignis to leave the tent before opening his eyes and finding Noct’s upon him.

They grinned. Noct had been awake awhile now, waiting.

Prompto got to his feet, and Noct swatted Gladio.

“What?” their large friend asked, removing his hand from his eyes.

They each smiled in response. Gladio’s brows furrowed as he regarded Noct across from him and Prompto standing above him. “What’re you guys up to?”

Prompto grabbed his camera, and Noct grabbed something from beneath his pillow and put it in his pocket before leaping to his feet. They rushed out of the tent, side by side.

Intrigued, and slightly worried, Gladio followed.

“Damn, he’s fast,” said Noct, seeing that Ignis was already halfway to the edge of the slough. 

As they jogged to catch up, Noct turned to Prompto. “I’ll go. Let me talk to him. Just have the camera ready. 

“Can do!”

When Gladio caught up to Prompto, Prompto swatted his arm. “Act cool. We’re just enjoying the morning. Pretend you’re letting me take some shots of you.”

“What?”

“Only for a few minutes. It’ll be worth it.” 

Gladio rubbed the back of his head. “All right.”

As Ignis neared the place Prompto had described, he looked around in the grass and to the mud at the edge. Noct sauntered near, holding the mushroom in his left hand.

“Ah ha.” Ignis bent down to retrieve the can that was half buried in mud. Noct slipped the mushroom into his pocket in one quick, smooth motion. 

Ignis used the grass to remove most of the mud, then washed the can off in the water. 

As Ignis turned to berate him, Noct snatched his glasses over his face.

Ignis immediately turned and tried to grab them back, but Noct sidestepped.

“Noct, I’m in no mood.” He made for Noct again. Noct quickly went to Ignis’ right, keeping them moving in a circle near the water’s edge.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Noct asked. He looked over Ignis’ shoulder.

“Not much, no. Why?” Ignis stood still, slowly crossing his arms. Had he done something to warrant payback like retrieving his last can of Ebony from the muck and having his glasses stolen?

“You don’t remember fencing with our dinner skewers and attacking Prompto?”

“I did no such thing…did I?”

“You did. And worse.”

Worry tingeing his voice, Ignis asked, “What did I do?”

“You sat on my lap and told me I made a comfortable throne.”

Ignis looked mortified, but slowly a smile spread across his face. He laughed. “No.”

“Yes. _After_ you told the story about how that rumor of us being gay started at the Citadel. You know they’re going to bring it up all the time now. And Prompto has pictures.”

“Well. It would be such a shame if something were to happen to Prompto’s camera, wouldn’t it?”

Noct was about to tell him that it didn’t matter; that Prompto needed his camera; that _he_ wanted to see the pictures of their journey.

But then he saw the catoblepas.

Noct ran up to Ignis and pressed his glasses into his hand, then warped to where Prompto and Gladio were waiting.

When Ignis had put his glasses on, only the faded outline of Noct’s form remained.

He soon spotted Noct and the others.

Ignis growled. “You’re on your own for dinner!” he shouted. “Don’t think for one second tha—”

A loud splash came from his left. He turned, dropping the can of Ebony.

Noct took the camera from Prompto’s hand, and Prompto was too amused to argue.

A catoblepas was _galloping_ through the water towards Ignis. He hadn’t thought the creatures capable of such movement. He tried to run but stumbled forward, and scrambled to get away. The mammoth creature followed, and Ignis yelled, a look of pure terror on his face.

Noct and the others ran as well, but Prompto and Gladio didn’t get far, nearly collapsing from laughter. They threw arms around each other’s backs to keep from falling as they held their stomachs, tears streaming down their faces.

Noct managed to snap a few pictures before Ignis caught up to the other two, and they ran to avoid his wrath. None of the three managed to get far, though, as they were laughing too hard. Ignis turned on Prompto first. He punched him in the upper arm.

“Six, Ignis, didn’t know you could hit that hard,” Prompto whined, but he smiled, earning him another punch.

Ignis turned on Gladio then. “Hey, I had nothing to do with this!” he said as Ignis punched him.

And despite the fact that punching Gladio had hurt Ignis more than it had hurt Gladio, he punched Noct next— and didn’t hold back, despite Noct being his charge and future King.

Noct flinched, but Ignis soon had an arm around his shoulder. “Thought that was funny, did you?”

“Definitely.” Noct smiled. 

“It’s my jacket, isn’t it?” 

“I sewed mushrooms into your pockets,” Prompto admitted.

Ignis turned to Prompto, his brows raised in surprise. He’d honestly thought it was Noct.

“And last night’s impromptu celebration?”

“Yeah, that was part of it too. Although that didn’t turn out quite as I’d planned.”

Ignis shook Noct with the arm wrapped across his shoulder. “Just you and Prompto wait. I’ll pay you both back.”

“Worse than sitting on me? Pettiness is unbecoming you, Ignis,” Noct teased.

“Pettiness? Oh, dear Noct, you have no idea.” He pulled him tighter against him.

He tried to take the camera from Noctis’ hand with his free arm, but Noct tossed it to Prompto, whose reflexes were thankfully quick. 

“So, I guess this means breakfast is off the table?” Noct asked, looking up at Ignis. 

“Only for you and Prompto.” Ignis smirked. He removed his arm from Noct, and then removed his jacket.

“But if you’re looking to redeem yourselves, you can start by fetching my last can of Ebony, and you can do so while one of you is wearing this.”

He held it out to Noct.

Gladio chuckled. “Good one, Iggy.”

Not for one second wanting to give Ignis the upper hand, Noct looked to Prompto. “What d’ya say, Prompto? Make a mad dash? Take some pics while we’re at it?”

Prompto’s camera clicked on. “You know it!”

 


End file.
